Honestly Waiting
by thetruthaboutsilver
Summary: Gau will always be by his side, as long as Raikou doesn't know that she's a girl. If Raikou ever sees through her disguise, it's all over. So she loves him, wearing a facade of a best friend, but having the longing of a soulmate. Raikou isn't sure what he feels for Gau, but knows it isn't quite a normal best-friend thing. fem!Gau x Raikou, secrets like whoa


**Honestly Waiting; Chapter One**

_Once upon a time, there was a girl who was disguised as a man. A handsome prince found her, and they became best friends, him thinking her to be a man, she never telling him different. They rode off on amazing adventures, she always by his side._

_The girl was sad, though, because she knew if she told him that she was a girl, he wouldn't want to take her on anymore adventures. He often said that their adventures were no place for a woman._

_The girl kept her secret, because she never wanted to leave the prince's side._

* * *

"You can't come with me on this mission."

Gau sat back, her eyes widening with shock. "What?! Why not?" The kitchen chair she was sitting in creaked. Raikou's apartment furniture was old, and well-worn.

"It's too mature for you." Raikou's eyes were playful, the fading sunlight catching in the warm brown. Gau didn't look away from them (not because they were attractive, she told herself).

"I'm sixteen! I'm more mature than you think, Raikou."

"The guy I'm supposed to deal with is at a love hotel. Frequently."

Gau pursed her lips, looking away from Raikou, down to her dinner plate. "So? I know what happens there. I'll be fine. I won't be tempted, or anything." Gau wouldn't. She was a girl, after all. If only Raikou could understand that.

Of course, if Raikou knew she was a girl, he wouldn't take her on any mission, love hotel or not.

Raikou sighed. "I'm not worried about you being tempted. You haven't even hit puberty yet, that's no problem," Gau punched him in the arm, even though his words weren't as insulting as they should have been, "I'm worried about other people being tempted to you."

Gau stopped moving. "Raikou, don't be ridiculous. Don't the women there know that a sixteen-year-old is off limits? Why would they even want to, you know..."

"The woman, yes, they probably know that and wouldn't care about you, but there are some men there who... Let's just say that young, beautiful boys are their type."

Had Raikou just called her beautiful? He couldn't have meant that in the way Gau wished he meant it. She tried to stop the flush in her cheeks. "I'm not beautiful, Raikou. I'm a boy. Boys are handsome."

Raikou studied her from across the small kitchen table. "You're very feminine, Gau. Some bad men like feminine, uke-like boys. Which is why I'm not going to take you. I can't focus on taking care of the mission, and making sure someone doesn't get into your pants."

"I'm- I'm not an uke!" Gau spluttered. "Now you just sound like some gross yaoi-obsessed girl. Please, Raikou, just trust me. I'm ready for this."

"You know how to protect yourself?"

"Aim for the genitals, or knees."

Raikou looked at her, then down at the table, then back at her. "I think I'm going to regret this," he said as he pushed away from the table, grabbing his plate, and dropping it in the sink. "Fine. But you stay right next to me, the entire time. Got it?"

"Yep!" Gau cleared her plate as well, noticing that the dishes were piling up in the sink. She'd have to do them when she got back. Even though they were eating in Raikou's apartment, he often 'forgot' to do them, and Gau considered it her job. The evening was quickly turning into night, the red sunset falling down the windows.

"It's just one stray Gray Wolf member, who has been using his skill of wind-travel to break into several wealthy museums around the area. The usual thing."

Gau nodded as she pulled on her tennis shoes, listening to Raikou give the details. Her short, but extremely messy hair kept getting in her eyes, and she blew it out.

Looked like she would have to cut it, again. Sometimes, being a boy was such a bother.

* * *

On the bus ride, Gau sat opposite of Raikou. The pink-haired man closed his eyes, looking for all the world like he was asleep. Gau had been around him for too long, though. She knew he was just thinking.

She studied him, her eyes slipping down his face. He was very attractive, with long eyelashes, and strong cheekbones. Gau sighed, and forced herself to look away. She adored Raikou, and she knew it.

Yet, recently, her thirteen-year-old adoration had started becoming something different. More of a sixteen-year-old different. Instead of wanting to be just like him, she always wanted to be around him. Instead of wishing her hair was pink, like Raikou's, she had wanted to run her fingers through his hair. Instead of loving talking to him, she started dreaming about shutting him up via mouth-to-mouth.

Gau wasn't stupid at all. She had realized it about a month ago. She had fallen in love with Raikou, and didn't know if she could ever stop.

The bus jostled, Raikou's eyes opening again, and Gau realized with a jolt that she had been watching him again. He met her eyes, and smiled. To Gau's embarrassment, she felt her cheeks grow warm, and she quickly looked down at her hands.

The whole business was tricky.

* * *

Raikou wrapped his hand around the talisman tightly. The symbol on it meant safety, and he felt like it better belonged in Gau's hand than in his own.

He truly worried for the boy. Ever since he had seen Gau, sitting bloodied and beaten in the snow, his heart had grown to love him. Not in the romantic sense, Raikou did not prefer boys, but in the best friend way. Even though Gau was several years younger, he was always there for Raikou.

"Next stop, Hanakiro Road, next stop, Hanakiro Road," the bus driver called out. That was their stop.

Raikou tucked the talisman into his clothes, and looked over at Gau. The boy was looking out the dark window, hands clasped together in his lap. Raikou gave a small smile at how girly he looked. His eyes were wide, and the overhead lights reflected in them. His lips were slightly parted, and the collar of his uniform was askew, revealing pale neck and collarbone.

Raikou blinked, realizing that he had been, for once second, thinking of Gau as a girl. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. Gau was most definitely a boy. He knew of no girl who would put up with Raikou's messes.

The bus stopped, and Raikou stood up, Gau following him off of the vehicle. They got a few scornful glances for getting off in the love hotel district, Raikou ignoring them. No matter what people thought, it was not what they assumed. He looked around, planting his feet firmly on the sidewalk.

The red light district, to put it crudely. Tall buildings and short buildings alike, all with the same aura of lust and love.

"The name of the building on the paperwork is Crimson Love," Gau spoke up from beside him. "I think it's that one." He pointed to a tall hotel to their right.

"Let's be fast. The night will cover our tracks, but I don't wish to have to explain ourselves," Raikou said, as he headed towards the building. Gau's footsteps followed his.

Night had fallen heavily over the city, but bright lights shone everywhere. Flashing signs and streetlights gave the sidewalk and shrubbery a ghostly, washed-out look. Raikou's shoes hit the cement with a muffled sound.

There were a lot of people out on the street, despite the late hour. A drunken couple past by the two, giggling and coughing. The woman gave Raikou look, licking her lips. Gau seemed to unconsciously press closer to Raikou, which made the pink-haired man smile. Gau, even though he pretended to be headstrong, would always be a little unsure. It made Raikou feel stronger somehow, knowing he had someone to protect.

Knowing he had Gau to protect.

The hotel entrance was a large glass door, with large posters of beautiful (and albeit half-naked) women. Raikou didn't look at them. He didn't want to.

He pushed the door open, and tried not to grab at the katana hooked onto his side. The aura of the hotel was uncomfortable to him, foreign and... mature.

The woman at the front desk looked up, and smiled. "What room would you like?"

Raikou thought quickly. The only way they would've been let into the hotel is if they were customers. They couldn't pull the 'janitor' angle, Gau looked like a schoolboy, and Raikou himself... he was dressed too fabulously to be a janitor.

"Any room above the first floor," Raikou said, smiling. Then, there would be less management to avoid while they were sneaking around.

Gau coughed, and Raikou looked at the messy-haired boy. He was blushing slightly, and looked at his feet.

"I assume everyone is over eighteen, right?" the woman said, winking a long, fake eyelash. Raikou gave her a beaming smile. It was obvious to all of them that Gau was not eighteen, but the woman didn't look like she cared.

"Of course. Gau and I are quite in love, and love tops age, right?" Raikou said, wrapping an arm over Gau's small shoulders. Gau stiffened, and Raikou hid a laughing grin. The small boy could be so innocent sometimes.

"That'll be one-hunred-eighty-two dollars and sixty cents," the woman said brightly, and Raikou internally winced. Love hotels were expensive, apparently. Raikou wouldn't have known.

He paid her the money, accepted the key, and then turned to Gau. Gau's cheeks were still pink, but he pressed closer to Raikou when the man grabbed his shoulder. Raikou knew that Gau had figured out the plan, and was going along with it. Otherwise the loud boy would have never been that quiet and meek.

The elevator ride up to floor five, the top floor, seemed awfully quiet. Gau leaned against the other side of the elevator.

"Why couldn't we do the janitor thing?" Gau moaned, rubbing his forehead. "Now that lady thinks I'm some poor schoolboy roped into prostitution, or I'm madly in love with an older con man."

"Good job on the acting, Gau. I like the virgin blush thing. She really believed us," Raikou said, slightly sarcastic on the 'virgin blush' part.

"I wish that people would be more aware of real underage prostitution," Gau said, his nose crinkling in a way that Raikou found utterly endearing. "It's sad that some people have to..."

His eyes grew distant, misty, looking at a spot next to Raikou's face. Raikou wondered what he was thinking about, and would've asked, but the elevator dinged, and the doors slide open.

The top floor hallway seemed nearly empty, all the doors shut safely. Instead of going to the room that the woman had given them, Raikou quickly walked down the hallway, his footsteps muffled by the carpet. His intuition was sensing something... shinobi-like. On the same floor as they were. A kind of power that normal people didn't have.

The feeling grew the closer Raikou got to the end of the hall, and hit its peak when he stopped in front of 529. He listened, hearing a muffled male voice, and a female voice as well. He thanked the stars it didn't sound like they were... doing anything.

"I'm going to go get a beer from the bar," he heard the woman say, more distinctly. She was getting closer to the door.

Raikou quickly moved away from the door, grabbed the door handle of the room next door, and pulled it open, throwing himself inside. He didn't question why it was strangely unlocked. The lights were off, and it looked like there was no one inside, thank the stars.

Raikou paused. There was no familiar warmth next to him. Where was Gau?

Cursing his luck, Raikou waited until the sound of high-heeled footsteps faded to open up the door and creep out into the hallway again. There was no sign of the messy-haired boy anywhere.

It was his only chance to take out the mission without any witnesses, Raikou knew. He quietly tried the doorknob of the man's room, to find it unlocked. It swung open, and Raikou quietly drew his sword.

The man was sitting on a couch, holding a wineglass, facing the other way. It was easy to kill him.

"You are using your shinobi abilities for the wrong thing," Raikou said, reaching around the couch and pressing the blade of his katana against the man's neck. "I am a watashi of the Gray Wolves, sent to deal with you. This is your punishment." In one smooth movement, Raikou pulled the sword back against the man's neck, slicing through flesh and severing life. With a wet choking noise, the man died.

Whispering a prayer for the man's soul, Raikou left the room, flicking off the lights. Now, he had to go find Gau.

* * *

Gau had been following Raikou down the hall, when a hand clamped itself onto her mouth, and pulled her into a room. She kicked and tried to punch whoever her attacker was, but it was obviously a man, and a strong one at that, so her skinny girl arms were no match for his beefy ones.

She was flipped around and pressed against a wall, red-tinged hazel eyes looking into her own. It was a gross, chunky man. He breathed heavily, eyes running down her face, her body. She could smell alcohol on his breathe, and it was disgusting.

"Pure luck, an adorable and seductive uke walking down the hall, just waiting for me," he breathed into her face. Gau tried to kick him in the knee, but he pressed her even harder into the wall.

His other hand, the one not over her mouth, started unbuttoning her school uniform. She cursed herself for not wearing the vest. The vest was harder to get off.

Then, once half of the buttons were undone, the man stopped.

"What're these bandages, darling?" The man sounded confused. His finger gently pulled the top of the bandages down, just a little bit, and then he wrenched away.

Gau kicked at him as he fell away, his eyes wide and angry. "A woman? Darned-" The door to the room swing open, covering up his words, as Gau frantically buttoned up her shirt. Raikou was suddenly there, in a whirlwind of swirling clothes and hurried breaths. He looked over at Gau, then breathed a sigh of relief.

"I found you," he said, head dropping as he tried to catch his breath, and Gau's heart could beat again.

"Not my type," the man growled, and Raikou looked at him angrily. Before he could say anymore, Gau kicked him as hard as she could in the genitals, and raced out of the room.

Raikou followed her, and looked at her, worried, as she leaned against the wall. His hand touched her face, and she looked up at him, dark eyes meeting milk chocolate.

"You're crying. Did he hurt you?" Raikou asked. Gau realized that there were hot tears on her cheeks, as Raikou gently wiped away the moisture.

"N-no," she said, and then she buried her face into Raikou's chest.

"You always were a crybaby," the pink-haired man muttered, his arms coming around her. "But I guess you can cry this one time. I won't tell anyone."

Gau didn't speak. She knew it was girly of her to cry, girly of her to cry into a man's chest, but she didn't care. The smell of Raikou, of flowers and mint, made her feel more comforted. It was a familiar scent.

After a while, Raikou gently pushed her away, and led her down the fire exit, so they wouldn't have to talk to the check-out lady.

"I guess it's good that you weren't his type," Raikou said. "Not all men like feminine boys."

Gau nodded. "He was gross. He grabbed me halfway down the hallway, right when you stopped at that door."

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Gau. I had the perfect opportunity to take out the mission, but I would've come sooner if I knew you were in trouble."

"I'm fine. I wasn't his type, anyway." She didn't remark that if she actually had been a boy, she would've been his type. For once, being a girl had been a good thing.

_Raikou could never know._

* * *

Raikou took Gau out for ice cream. It was something that they often did after a successful mission, plus Raikou just liked ice cream a lot.

He bought his own mint chocolate cone, and Gau's plain vanilla, and walked outside again. Looking around the park outside of the shop, he saw Gau sitting on a bench, shadowed by heavy trees around him.

"Here you go," Raikou said, handing the boy his cone. Gau took it, and Raikou sat down next to him on the bench. They looked out across the park.

It was late, so there weren't any other visible people walking there. The wind blew threw the trees, scattering a few fallen leaves, and far away, a lamp light flickered.

Raikou remembered something. Just before the elevator doors had opened, he had been going to ask Gau something.

"Gau, why did you say the thing you said in the elevator? About prostitution?"

Gau turned to him, face half shadowed, but eyes wide. "...You don't really want to know. It's just... something to do with my past."

Raikou felt horrified. "You never had to go into prostitution, right? Oh, stars, Gau, please say-"

"No! No, it wasn't me. It was my mom."

The woman Gau had been trying to avenge when Raikou first found him. "Tell me more, Gau." Gau's shoulders seemed impossibly small as he looked across the park. Raikou couldn't help putting an arm around them, pulling Gau closer. "I'm here. I won't tell anyone."

"Mom knew the fastest way to make a lot of money was prostitution, so when I was eleven, almost twelve, she started inviting men over from the bar she worked at, to our house. She always made my lock my bedroom door, and not make a sound. It was-" Gau's voice broke, but he continued. "I hated it. Mom raised enough money to keep me in a good school, and buy food, but it never ceased. Always in the back of my head-" he stopped talking, and closed his eyes, leaning back, into Raikou. Raikou kept his arm around Gau's shoulders.

"That's horrible, Gau. I'm so sorry," Raikou said. Gau nodded, but he didn't cry.

"It was one stupid eighteen-year-old kid who beat her, that's why she died. His father had been coming over for a while, cheating on the kid's mother, and the delinquent blamed my mom. She didn't even say anything, the entire time. I was there, under the table."

Sensing Gau was reaching a breaking point, Raikou shifted. "That's enough, Gau. You don't need to say anymore. Your ice cream cone is melting, anyway."

Gau took a lick of ice cream, eyes still distant. "Thanks, Raikou. I just wish that she could've said something, made a noise. We lived in an apartment, and surely, if I'd made a noise, or she did, someone would've come... I was completely silent."

Raikou took a bite of his cone, the crunching noise loud in the park. "You were a child, Gau. It's not your fault. Don't tear yourself up about it. I'm sure your mother's soul is in a better place, watching over you."

They ate in silence, Raikou not moving his arm from Gau's shoulders.

It felt right, sitting like that. Gau's head rested on his shoulder, his warmth seeping through layers of cloth, and into Raikou. Raikou supposed that was what best friends did, leaned on each other's shoulders when they were sad.

He liked having Gau lean on him, and filed that information away in his mind, almost forgetting about it.

Almost.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :)**

**To be continued...**


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